~This
story was previously published in Rosebud
(2010).
Jacaranda
blossoms littered the steps of 36 Katima Mulilo. Tom Jensen knocked three
times. He didn’t feel great about mooching a bed from his dad’s old pal, but
he’d run out of options. When the door opened, he asked the Zambian houseman,
“Is George Wilson in?”
“Now
is not a good time. Can you come back after tomorrow? Maybe next week?” The man
whispered, traces of Shona in his accent.
“George
gave me a standing invite.” Tom started to explain, when the man muttered he
would check with Bwana George, clicking the door shut.
Tom
unslung his backpack, trying to figure out why this guy wouldn’t let him in.
Maybe George’s house was too small to have a spare bed. Zambians lived in this
neighborhood; the houses had wire fences, not like the rich diplomat compounds
of Nairobi and Harare where he had been a house-sitter. Still -- Lusaka with
its flowering jacarandas was as pretty as promised by the bedtime stories his
dad had told him and his baby sister Lucy.
The
door opened and the houseman, still frowning, ushered Tom into a square living
room. Maybe George would help him find a job or at least give him time to
figure out where to go and what to do next. Being expelled from Zimbabwe had
been scary, but he wasn’t ready to give up on Africa and go home to frozen
Minnesota. George would also have news of his mother and Lucy.
On
a wood table, George’s surveying tools, a transit and a light device, weighted
down blueprints. Enormous splashy paintings covered the walls, a sort of Cubist
Victoria Falls, an abstract orange sunset over the savannah, and a Cape Buffalo
herd done in dots against a pink sunrise. All three paintings seemed like
windows onto familiar landscapes, even though they were modern and blurry.
“Tom, welcome to Lusaka,” George’s booming voice preceded him. “College
didn’t work out?”
“Wow, you’re dropped –what – 50 pounds? How are
you, you old scoundrel?” Tom said.
George’s voice was the same but everything else had changed, his lanky
six foot frame now stooped and his wavy brown hair mixed with gray.
George plopped in an easy chair and waved Tom
into the other. “You look as scrawny as ever.”
“Nothing like travelling to keep a guy lean.”
Tom laughed. He was a head shorter than George and Africa had kept him skinny
with a couple of bouts of malaria. He hadn’t seen George since that night
they’d prowled the State Street bars in Madison. George had been looking for
some action but with his bulky beer gut, he hadn’t had any luck with the sleek
young guys. Mid-evening, George gave up trying to score and they’d had fun as
George showed Tom how to look gay when he needed to. Now he was washed up on
George’s doorstep, out of work, nearly out of money, out of ideas. “I was doing
just great until that ass Zimbabwean president shut down all the independent
newspapers and my job disappeared.”
“Your mum told me in her last couple of
Christmas cards to watch out for you in case you got into more trouble. Are you
in trouble?” George asked.
“Not really,” Tom mumbled, thinking how little
she cared. He’d run 10,000 miles away from one DWI charge and a crashed up car
and she still nagged. She’d never help him, but he missed Lucy. Lucy had been
fine in the backseat, even though his accident totaled his mom’s Camry. “Do her
letters mention Lucy?”
“Something about her high school golf team and
how proud your dad would have been of her.” George was folded up, arms crossed
on his chest. “Your dad would be impressed at your political reporting. Mugabe’s
dangerous.”
“My dad--” Tom felt sort of sick in his belly.
He remembered the day Lucy was born, standing next to her crib, his dad had
said they, the men in her life, would always take care of her.
“We gotta remember the good times.” George stood
and strolled to the Vic Falls
painting. “Back when it was fun.”
“Remember my first
beer? In Ghana?” Tom tried to get a chuckle from George, dredging up the memory
of shebeens and tasting homebrewed beer under his dad’s and George’s guidance
on his first trip to Africa. He forced away thoughts of his dad teaching him
and Lucy how to golf.
After his dad died of a heart attack, of all
his old engineering pals and coworkers, only George kept in touch, writing
regularly and calling when he was passing through the U.S. He was the only one
of the old team his mom would tolerate.
“It was a
great escapade.” George half-grinned, acting for a second like the George he
knew, the guy who always made him laugh. “Now when did you last talk to your
mum?”
Tom cracked his knuckles. He didn’t want to
talk about his family drama. In Zimbabwe, he’d felt desperate and alone. Now
relaxing in a cushy armchair, he didn’t particularly want to think about that.
“I
haven’t called her in about three years, but you don’t have to play guardian
angel uncle. I’m fine.” Tom said. It wasn’t like George to nag or offer unsolicited
advice but George was friends with her, even if she couldn’t stand her only
son. “She refuses to let me speak to Lucy after I flunked out of UW.”
“You’re being an independent cuss, aren’t you?
Family is important, even if you don’t believe me.” George half frowned, his
chin tucked down instead of its usual position, jutting out to meet the world.
Tom had been sure George would understand his
anger at his mom and how much he missed Lucy.
Now Tom didn’t think he would get any help because George wasn’t George
today, somehow shrunken.
“How’s
business?” Always a good way to deflect tricky conversations – get the person
talking about himself which should bring George out of his glums. Hopefully George would offer him a job and
Tom wouldn’t have to ask.
“Good and bad – Zambian style.” George
touched the painting, his finger tracing the signature. “After all kinds of
excitement to start a job, you get into it, muddy your hands, lay the first
sight lines and then everything stops.”
George offered vague
details about the sporadic progress on the highway, only saying how if some village was having harvest and
the crew chief went on holiday, all work would wait. “Then you relax. Or go to
an AIDS funeral. I got one tomorrow.”
Tom asked, “A co-worker?”
“Kind of. Micah Tembo. A survey tech.” George
crossed to his chair and sat again. “So what’s this reporter work you’d like to
pursue here? Newspaper or wire stringer?”
Tom wondered what the deal was with this guy
Tembo. He must be more than a co-worker to George. Tom had only known George to date white guys.
In his own experience junketing around the continent, Africans weren’t usually
openly gay. Heterosexual AIDS was killing so many people. That must be it.
“I want to interview the Zambian president or
his election team.” Tom bent to adjust his shoelace. Lying about being a
reporter was a good way to get around a city, talk to people, find out where
little odd jobs like house-sitter, courier, or even dog trainer that paid well
and would let him relax for a while. He didn’t know how to tell George that he
wasn’t really a journalist, that he’d conned his way into that reporter gig,
and that he only house sat for the BBC guy. Lying to somebody who had known him
as a kid was hard.
“Come,
let’s grab a beer and see what Moses is cooking” was George’s reply. “You can
flop in my spare room, if you like. I’m not travelling the rest of the month,
so you can keep me company. Tomorrow. This funeral. Um, it’s no big deal, but
will you come with me?”
Tom agreed.
George knew about his DWI run-in and Wisconsin, but he wasn’t going to bother
about them now. It was like George wasn’t listening. Maybe after dinner and a
couple of beers, Tom could get him talking and then find out what was bugging
him and also ask for those Christmas letters from his mom.
George showed him the spare bedroom and pointed
out the bathroom. The bedroom had a
comfy bed, but it reeked of turpentine. Poking in the closet, Tom found
a box of paints and brushes. So that explained the big painting. George was getting
artistic. Further searching turned up an afro hair pick and shoes too small for
George. Micah Tembo’s? He’d never known George to have a live-in companion. He
didn’t discover any Christmas letters.
The next morning, driving on the Great East
Highway, Tom could see the crowd at the hillside cemetery. Dozens, maybe a
hundred people appeared to be marching and protesting. He rolled down the
window and the noise hit him. They were chanting and dancing. George turned
into the single lane road and parked about 50 yards from the mob, but he didn’t
get out of the car.
Tom
cracked his right knuckles, but stopped himself. Not very respectful at a
funeral. Tom gripped his kneecaps to keep from fidgeting and waited, watching
the people. Some kids, a few men, mostly women and gray haired old ladies amid
a field of little headstones and bare crosses.
George didn’t move. Why come to a funeral to
watch? George was even quieter this morning. The whole crowd thing made Tom
twitchy.
“Might as well go, hey?” Tom prodded.
George swung the door wide and planted his feet
on the ground. Pushing his hand against the dashboard, he rose out of the
driver’s seat.
“Nice turnout for your friend.” Tom eased the
door open. A wave of voices boomed from the huge group -- scary how loud they
were close up. Their chanting rose from a low note to a uuulong sound and then
descended again. The men, maybe the pall bearers, stood motionless next to the
grave site. They weren’t singing.
Among them, Tom glimpsed a white face, the
priest in full long garb, white stole over black cassock. Two little boys swung
incense lanterns, the blueish smoke hovering near the stubby grasses. Tom couldn’t understand anything the priest
was saying, but he glanced in their direction and George nodded. A woman next
to the priest pointed at George. She whispered to the pall bearers and they
moved closer to her. Scanning the crowd, Tom realized he and the priest and
George were the only whites there. What if they objected to two white guys?
The
crowd of women stomped and swayed. Every one of them in a bright color with a
matching ruffled turban. The movement was a haze of green, orange, red, blue,
and purple. Bright teeth in dark faces, their heads swinging side to side.
Tom felt dizzy in the noise and dust.
He wanted to go stand with the children, a cluster of quiet boys and girls, far
from the grave, but he trailed George.
They stopped on a knoll about fifty feet back from the priest.
“Father
Harry and I go way back to Congo days,” George whispered. “Micah’s sister,
Grace, is next to him.”
Tom hadn’t been to a funeral since he was
fifteen. His dad’s death at fifty had
been a real surprise. The whole damn town showed up because his dad had been
friends with everybody. Tom remembered boring hymns and the organ music in a
dark church. He remembered feeling frozen. Nobody even cried out loud except
his mom. Lucy, only eight that spring, had clung to him.
On this bright cloudless morning, this whole
scene was so weird: amid the constant
motion and wailing, there was almost a calm, a peacefulness in the crush of
bodies. Nobody felt cold or detached here; the dead guy must have had a huge
family and loads of friends.
Suddenly the crowd of women parted in front of
them. The sister, all in yellow, faced them. She looked about thirty, maybe
five or six years older than him. She raised her hands to stop them. She knew that George was gay -- did the whole
crowd know? Her palms open, her fingers splayed, blocking her face and blocking
their approach. The six men formed a semi-circle behind her, looking a whole
variety of angry, eyes squinting and fists clenched.
George bowed and then grabbed Tom’s arm and
retreated. The priest touched her shoulder and whispered to her, but she shook
her head. The singing began again and the women circled the open grave.
Each woman scooped up a clump of the dry soil
and let it filter through their fingers into the grave. The dust hung on the
air before descending into the black hole. Now Tom could hear the priest
intoning dust to dust.
The women seemed to be singing “ohye, dust to
dust, ohye, man return." Tom turned to ask George how long the service
would go on, but George was crying.
Tom didn’t know what to do or say so he dug in
his pockets for a tissue. He didn’t have one.
George wiped his eyes with the back of his
hand. Then he pressed his fists against
his eye sockets. “They can’t stop me.” He lurched forward to the circle of
women and stepped through their line.
Tom hurried after George but he watched the
crowd, trying to see how the group of angry men would react. George approached
the grave from one side and the men closed on it from their side. Tom nudged
through the blue and green and orange, trying to catch George. What would those
men do to him? The sun, rising to the zenith, beat down on his scalp. Dust was everywhere.
George picked up dirt, holding a big fist of
it. The woman in yellow, Grace, shouted and three other women moved across his
path, preventing George from reaching the grave. The men shouted. One raised
his fist. The priest lifted his hands and called for ‘peace, peace for God’s
sake.’ The men retreated as the priest
almost shooed them. This close Tom could see the six all had on Roman collars
like they were deacons or monks or something – thank God they stopped at the
priest’s command.
George marched forward with long strides, more
like his old self, his wide shoulders towering over the round women who
fluttered around him, arms waving but not touching him. One hand supported his
other, protecting the dirt. The priest laid his hand on the sister’s arm,
holding her. She shook his hand off and turned her back on George.
Like it was a signal, all the women stepped
back and let George and Tom approach the grave. George marched to the hole. Tom
caught up, ready to grab him, afraid he’d fall in. A plain unfinished box lay
at the bottom, a red cross painted on it.
At the foot of the grave, George repeated the
women’s motion of letting the dirt filter through his fingers. The dirt fell
like a sprinkled spice on the coffin. George tapped his hand to his heart. The
priest appeared and he cupped George’s elbow, pulling him from the grave.
The sister, her eyes clear of tears,
intercepted Tom. “Please take him away.”
“Yes, Ma’am. My condolences,” Tom murmured.
What a beautiful angry face -- the almost caramel brown eyes, her heart-shaped
face. He offered a proper bow and an African two handed greeting to acknowledge
her loss.
She only glared at him and hissed ‘fancy man.’
He hurried after George and the priest who were half way to the car. George
opened the car door and stumbled into the driver’s seat.
The priest intercepted Tom on his way to the
passenger door. “Welcome to Zambia -- where funerals are what we do for fun.
Take George home and give him a stiff drink. Don’t let him come back here
today.”
Tom bobbed his head in agreement. What the hell
was happening? Why was the sister so mad even if Micah dated George? What was
George’s secret? Would those men stay back or come beat the crap out of them?
George sat, clenching the steering wheel, his breathing choppy.
“Why don’t I drive?” Tom tugged the keys out of
his fingers. Without a word, George nodded and slid to the passenger’s side.
Tom jumped in the driver’s side, eager to be gone. “Micah lived with you?” Tom
reversed the car too fast, spinning gravel. Maybe talking would help George
pull himself together. “How long?”
“Two years.” George’s voice cracked.
Now Tom got it. Not an employee, not a friend,
not a casual date, Micah was George’s lover. Micah’s shoes in the closet.
Micah’s hair pick in the bathroom. “Where did you meet him?”
“At a trade school here in Lusaka. I was
looking for a new survey tech and stumbled into the art studio.” George covered
his face with his hands. “I loved him like your mom loved your dad.”
Tom bit back ‘not exactly.’ The evening of his
dad’s funeral his mom had sat motionless in his dad’s favorite chair. She sat
in their dark living room the entire night. When she stood up in the morning,
she had turned brittle in her way of talking and thinking. It was hard to
remember her before that. “Now my mom only loves herself.”
“You didn’t know your folks together.” George
lifted his head. “You don’t understand her now. It’s family, pride, or some
kind of dignity.”
Tom swallowed. His dad’s pride in him and Lucy. His mom was always so
happy that she cried when his dad walked in the door, returning from his
overseas jobs. Tom had failed in the family department with the first arrest
and continued to fail in her eyes with his goofy jobs and his rambling around.
“Micah’s sister hates you?”
“At first we lied to her. Told her he was my
tech.” George groaned. “Grace found out. She wanted to protect him from me.”
Tom whistled low. Family. Of course. Sisters.
He thought of Lucy. He hadn’t heard her
voice in four years.
George slammed his fist at the dashboard.
“She’ll never take any money from me. I tried to pay for the funeral. And she
should let me. She has kids and no husband.”
A huge green bus pulled out in front of them
and Tom braked. Grace -- another widow. A brotherless sister.
“Hell,
she thinks I killed him. I didn’t give him HIV. I swear.” George’s face seemed
to melt, his eyes closed, his mouth slack. “She said he was already dead to
her, living with me. At least she ignored us which let him paint.”
“Those huge
pictures are his?” That was the next
piece of the puzzle. This Micah lived with George to be able to paint freely.
Did the sister hate whites and gays and artists?
“I could get him everything he needed – brushes,
canvases, paint, a home, and he gave …” George stared out the windshield. The
big bus ahead seemed full of Zambian women and children.
“She couldn’t accept who he was with you?
That’s it?” Tom felt so sorry for George, but he’d never heard of George openly
living with another man for all his preferences. George was always seeing
somebody but never co-habitating. It was too risky for an expat, so likely to
offend somebody -- diplomats, missionaries, and even it seems, the
Africans. This Micah must have been
special.
“She didn’t know him. She wanted to change
him,” George whispered. “She wanted to bury his talent. I’ll fix her. I’ll -- ”
“Hang on. She was his sister after all.” Tom
swerved to miss a white sedan, merging. The bus blocked his view of the side
roads. How would Lucy feel if he turned up dead? “Maybe Moses could give her
the money for you.”
“No, it must come from a white man. She’s wrong
about us. I’ll prove to her she was
wrong about him.” George straightened up. “Left here, you nearly missed the
turn.”
Tom spun
the car. He’d have to stick close to keep George out of trouble. No telling
which way this emotional overload would lead. Better to focus on George than
try to think about Lucy and his mom, which ached inside his gut.
The next
Tuesday morning, six days after the funeral, the proper Zambian ritual of home
mourning, Tom entered George’s bank, a fancy new building with green marble
walls and a white marble floor. The lobby had the usual security guard, dressed
in blue, and the line of businessmen in the velvet ropes and the tellers
clicking their adding machines.
Micah’s painting of Victoria Falls hung on the
marble wall. Even though he had argued for George to find an art gallery or an
Embassy, Tom had to admit it looked good in this fancy bank. On the dark green
wall, the colors popped out.
Would she show up? George had sent a message
via Moses that Tom volunteered to return things belonging to her brother.
Inside the brown paper package tucked in the shoes was a fat wad of cash, the
money George had browbeaten out of his bank manager to pay for the painting.
His proof of Micah’s talent.
“I put aside
my pride to come, but I wanted to see it for myself.” She had a singsong voice.
Today she was not in yellow, but in a black sweater and a batik skirt and faded
tennis shoes. Arms wrapped across her chest, which made her shape more square.
Her hair, free from a turban, was in bouncy curls.
“Again, I’m sorry for
your loss. Here.” Tom offered the brown paper package. “His work is beautiful,
isn’t it?”
“The sun is likely to fade
it.” She touched the blue water in the painting, ignoring the package. “Yes, it
is lovely here.”
“Please take this.”
Tom offered the package again, resting on his palms like it was a gift. The
heart shape of her face was more pronounced with her mouth frowning. She was
still angry but at least she had come.
“You Americans. Just
like the British.” Her voice rising, “You show up and think you make everything
better. But you don’t. It is always your way, not ours.”
“I’m not one of them,”
Tom urged. He glanced over his shoulder at the bank guard. If she started
shouting, the guard would throw them out and he would fail in his mission for
George and fail her. “Please. Hear me out,” he whispered, “If your brother was
always the way he was –then if not George, it would have been another man.”
“Like you are already
his new man.” She raised her hand like she was going to slap him, but she
stopped.
“No, you’re wrong.
George is an old family friend. I don’t like men, not like that.” Tom wanted to
drag her toward the door. If only he could say, ‘I like beautiful women like
you’ but she’d never believe him. “George is like a brother to me, a big
brother. He was friends with my dad.”
“I was the big sister.
I didn’t raise him right.” She was beginning to cry.
Tom touched her shoulder and shepherded her out
the door, away from the stares he felt burning into his back. “What was Micah
like as a little boy?”
“He was a
good student.” She leaned against the building.
The sun made the bricks blazing hot. “Always studying so hard.”
“What did he study?”
Tom pointed to a bench under the flame trees. “Let’s sit.”
“Everything. Math,
science.” She wiped her face with a handkerchief. “But always he was drawing or
carving. Little animals. People.”
“George helped him to create
these wonderful paintings.” They’d reached the bench and she sat. “Sometimes sisters and brothers can’t do for
their siblings, can we?”
“No, but we try. We must try.” She nested her hands in her lap.
“No, but we try. We must try.” She nested her hands in her lap.
Tom laid the package
on her hands. “You have children, right?”
“Yes, two boys and a
girl.” Her eyes were half closed, but her mouth curled into a smile for a
second.
“Take this for their
schooling. For her schooling.” Tom laid his hand on the package, softly
pressing on it. “Your brother would have wanted it for her. I know he would
have.”
She crinkled the brown
paper as she stroked the bundle. Tom dug in his pocket for his skinny roll of
cash and held it out. Only $50 but greenbacks and that would buy a lot of
stuff. He gulped -- what was he doing? “For school books and uniforms.”
“Thank you.” She
finally clasped the package with one hand and accepted the money with the
other. “You have a sister, don’t you?”
“I’m going to call her
today.” Tom touched her shoulder, ready to sit, to offer to buy her tea. “I’d
like to see you sometime.”
She shook her head.
“All men are liars. At least call your sister.” Then she rose and walked away.
Back
at George’s house, Tom picked up the phone, dialed all thirteen numbers, and
said, “Mom, it’s me, Tom.”
*****
THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY
“Fancy Man” is a short story, plucked from an unfinished novel which is
waiting quietly for me to return to it. The main character Tom has been a
thief, a con-man, and a ladies man in all his appearances. This story specifically
arises from two powerful experiences of my time spent living in Zambia. A
friend’s driver died of AIDS. He collapsed in her foyer and died shortly
after. This kind man had been our guide
and helper in exploring the city when we first arrived. Secondly, as I drove
past the main cemetery of Lusaka, I often saw groups of women dancing and
singing. Their motion and bright colors was such a contrast to the sadness of
their chanting. “Fancy Man” takes the reader to the beauty and devastation of
Zambia in the early 1990’s.
*****
ABOUT JULIE WAKEMAN-LINN
Julie Wakeman-Linn has edited the Potomac Review since 2005 and teaches at Montgomery College in Maryland. Her short stories have appeared in many literary magazines, including Rosebud, Gargoyle, JMWW and MacGuffin. Her novel, Chasing the Leopard, Finding the Lion, a finalist for Barbara Kingsolver’s Bellwether Prize, was published by Mkuki Na Nyota in 2012. Her short story, “Challenges of Non-Native Species,” was a finalist for the WWPH 2014 Fiction prize. She grew up in South Dakota and has lived in Africa twice.
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