~This poem previously appeared in The Spoon River Poetry Review (2008).
Anger, No. 15
Jackson
Pollock, “Yellow Islands,” 1952, oil on canvas
The tortured pain of Jackson Pollock is
not some rehab diatribe
that freed his demons, let him sit with
bodhisattva Zen smile.
Strangled at birth by umbilical cord left
a web of motor,
learning disabilities that hammered his
mind with bristled scorn.
Tangled unbent anger for prestige
galleries who couldn’t see
his great talent, the backlash against
family, friends, his paint.
The stabs at the hole in his mythical dark
soul he starved to fill,
the vapid, cathartic release that never
held enough death.
This painting shrivels grand mysteries
into drips of disdain
for academy tastes that cater to the
known, the well-dressed,
the pricks, the bores, the intellectual
crap, the painted taps,
the crank of the well-heeled that clank on
hollowed out pipes.
Turned upside down, I wouldn’t know which
way was right,
like tube socks yanked on the wrong foot.
Pollock’s hand is weary of sketching the
shuttered interior light,
the slippery decay, the pneumatic musk,
the stench below city tenements.
His vision of society’s oblivion twisted
into streets he crashed,
the spackle of grackles that jig-sawed
beneath his skin,
dumped into urine back alleys like chump,
fetid trash scrounged for scraps
of cadmium yellow, white scraped from the
fat of electric blue clumps.
He attacks the canvas, people that hang
around, fills them with scurry
of rats, the splinter, the shiver, the
bones gnawed in the gutter.
The drift of the single-celled anemic, the
brown grind of cortex rind
that tears apart, the draft that pulls no
where but down.
Depression, alcohol, the failed suicide
attempts, the night screams
on a subway lost on its one short stop
between genius and pity.
His cords of elemental rage disguised as
art, laid out, strangled
on the whorl of passionless sex fermenting
in the upper left.
****
~This
poem previously appeared in Fifth Wednesday Journal
(2009).
Painting with the Dead
Johannes Vermeer, The Milkmaid, 1658
Grind the dead
bodies
of female
cochineal insects.
Boil. Extract the red.
Distill the mucus
of snails
for the purple
preferred
by Roman emperors.
Pulverize
semi-precious stones,
lapis lazuli for
the radiant blue Vermeer used
in the resigned
milkmaid’s apron.
Indian yellow for her blouse
from the urine of cattle
fed only mango leaves.
Egyptian brown squeezed
from the wrappings of mummies,
until these ancients oozed dry.
Bind the colors to
canvas
with drippings of animal fat,
egg-white, curdled milk or wax.
I lower the
shades,
sift cremated
flakes scraped
from the painting of our marriage,
rearrange the scraps
of what death has left
for the living of one.
Stretching the shroud of new canvas,
I collect burnt skin,
grind iron oxides with ossified bone,
stir falling light into death’s decay,
paint darkness as it hardens
and sets.
*****
THE STORY BEHIND
THE POEMS
Both of my poems involve
paintings, although the poems are not about the paintings. Even paintings
aren’t about the paintings, but good luck getting artists to tell you what they
are about. Some will tell you, but that’s to impress you with their intellect or
their awesome technique, like they’re god’s gift to acrylics.
Modern art can’t all be
dystopian wet dreams, just as modern classical music can’t all be atonal. It
may be mathematically brilliant, but if I can’t hum it, if I can’t dance to it,
if it doesn’t take me anywhere, then what good is it? But I digress.
My mother was a painter,
and she wouldn’t tell me what her work was about because she wanted me to find
my own meanings. So when I look at a painting, I don’t concern myself what the
artist intended. If I don’t have a reaction to it, I move on. (I’m the same way with people.) But if
I’m moved inside, then I’ll sit down and spend time with it, trying to figure
out what is making my heart pound and my palms sweat.
“Anger,
No. 15” was my response to Jackson Pollock’s jumble of
colors. Actually that was my second response. My first response was, “What the
hell!” But it grabbed me so I stayed with it, and realized that this is what
grief feels like, especially in the first weeks when the shock and trauma of
death constantly pummels our memories of joy.
For the poem, I borrowed
adjectives from Pollock’s personal demons and his struggle to be accepted as an
artist. Besides the internal rhymes and cadence, each line, when read aloud, is
the full length of one breath, which is what Alan Ginzberg did in his poem “Kaddish.”
“Painting
With the Dead” describes the months after my wife died
when I had to create a new life out of the remnants of the old. The structure
comes from the preliminary work that mom did before she began to paint —
stretching a blank canvas on a frame, getting her brushes ready, and deciding
on the colors.
The painting by Vermeer
had the heaviness I wanted, of the maid resigned to doing the same chores, day
after day, even if she didn’t want to, which is what grievers feel when they
have to continue cooking, cleaning, and going to work when there no longer
seems to be any point. Yet the maid also has a sense of being present to the
warmth of this moment.
Knowing that mom’s colors
were specific (never just blue, but
cerulean, cobalt, indigo …), I identified the colors that Vermeer used (his blue was ultramarine), and
researched where those pigments came from. Not surprisingly, they came from the
earth and living creatures, which is where grief is also rooted.
ABOUT
MARK LIEBENOW
Mark Liebenow writes
about nature, grief, and the wisdom of fools. The author of four books, his
essays, poems, and reviews have been published in numerous journals. He has won
the River Teeth Nonfiction Book Award, the Chautauqua and Literal
Latte’s essay prizes, and the Sipple Poetry Award. His work has been
nominated for two Pushcart Prizes and named a notable by Best American
Essays. His account of hiking in Yosemite to deal with his wife’s death, Mountains
of Light, was published by the University of Nebraska Press. www.markliebenow.com
Twitter @MarkLiebenow2
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